What about the baby’s father? Do I have to tell him or does he have to be involved?
What about the baby’s father? Do I have to tell him or does he have to be involved? In the state of Colorado, birth fathers have the right to be informed of an adoption plan. Your counselor will notify the father if you are uncomfortable doing so. If the father is unknown or his whereabouts are unknown, you can still plan an adoption. Your counselor will help you through that process.
At what point in my pregnancy should I contact you? You can contact us at any time before or after the birth to receive options counseling or to make an adoption plan. It’s never too early or too late to contact us! Whenever you have questions about your decision, it’s a good time to call us.
I already gave birth, is it too late to look at an adoption plan? No, sometimes we have clients that call us once they’re in the hospital and that’s okay. We can help you make an adoption plan at any time if you decide that is the best option for you and your child.
Can I choose the adoptive parents? Yes! With open adoption, you have the opportunity to select and meet the adoptive family prior to placement. Our families come from a variety of backgrounds. To get a glimpse of our waiting families, click here.
What process do adoptive parents go through? Adoptive parents are carefully screened and go through an intensive home study process. That includes background checks before they are approved to adopt. They are also required to take sixteen hours of adoption and parenting training.
How can I carry my baby for nine months and then give him/her away? Adoption is definitely one of, if not the most, difficult decisions you can ever make. Open adoption can make this easier with the option to continue a relationship with the adoptive family and your child. It helps to have good support and to receive good counseling about your options.
How will adoption affect me emotionally? It is important to consider how adoption will affect you, both in the short term and in the long term. You will also experience the normal changes in hormones after childbirth, which can add to how emotional you feel. You may experience many emotions including sadness, anger, relief, and joy. Placing a child for adoption can feel like a major loss in your life and it is normal and healthy to grieve that experience. With all of these emotions and the experience of giving birth, your counselor will review your decision with you after birth.
Do my parents have any say in my decision? This decision is completely up to you. Your parents can be included in options counseling if that is helpful to you. We recognize and understand that family support can be important. Regardless of what your parents would like to see happen, the decision is ultimately yours to make.
What if I want to parent, will you still meet with me? Definitely. We want to support you in any decision you make as long as it’s healthy for both you and your child. If you decide that your best option is to parent, we can help you make a plan so that you can be a successful parent. We can provide you with resources to meet your needs as well as continuing to offer emotional support.
What if I have doubts or I don’t know what to do? It is completely normal to have doubts about all of your options and to be confused about what direction to turn. Take the time you need to gather information and think through all of the pros and cons to each option. We are here to help you think through your decision. Eventually, you will come to the decision that is the best option for your situation.
Can you provide financial assistance during my pregnancy? In the state of Colorado, we can assist you with pregnancy related expenses. Your pregnancy counselor will discuss your needs with you and can help connect you to financial assistance or other community resources.
How much do your services cost? All of our services for pregnancy counseling clients are FREE! There is no charge for you to receive services from us. Adoptive families that we work with are charged fees for services received.
Won’t my child feel rejected if I choose adoption? This is another common fear when considering adoption. Research has shown that openness in adoption can help with the feeling of rejection, since a relationship can be maintained between the birth family and adoptive family. It is hard to know for sure how your child will feel, but you know that if you choose this option, it is a selfless decision made out of love.
When do I have to decide? That is up to you. Talk to a pregnancy counselor and get all of your questions answered before making a decision. This is a huge decision, so don’t rush to make a decision. If your baby has already been born, you can choose to take them home from the hospital or you can place your baby in temporary Cradle Care (a licensed infant caregiver) while you make a final decision. Typically, we see birth parents sign the legal relinquishment paperwork within a month of delivering.
What is open adoption? A lot has changed in the world of adoption over time and the changes have been for the better! Open adoption means that birth families, adoptive families and adoptees have access to information about each other. What this looks like, though, is dependent on how open you and the adoptive family want the relationship to be. Each scenario can look a little different and we refer to openness as a spectrum.
What if I used drugs during my pregnancy? We can still work with you. We understand that this isn’t something that is easy talk about for fear of being judged or not finding a family open to a child that’s been exposed to drugs. We won’t judge you and ultimately, the more honest you can be with us, the better. We are here to help you make the best plan for you and your child. There are adoptive families who are ready for any situation.
Do you work with gay/lesbian couples? Yes, we do work with gay/lesbian couples. We are committed to serving all people, regardless of race, religion, or gender.
What if I change my mind about openness? That’s completely okay! We pride ourselves on educating our adoptive couples to understand that the needs of expectant parents may change over time. Openness is something that ebb and flows. The most important thing is to maintain open communication with each other. If needed, you can always contact us later to help navigate any bumps in the road.